lately

To be simply honest and blunt, this week has sucked. I got my heart broken by someone whom I thought loved me. I thought that we were going to get married and that everything was going to be perfect. We had been dating for 16 months and he and I had been my first relationship from being in a new mental state so to say. I trusted this guy so much, and I gave him my heart, I put my all in this relationship because he was so great to me. His family put some complications in the relationship but we worked through them, that part sucked but he was worth it.

Everyone is worried as to how I am doing, which I mean knowing my past they can reasonably be so. I am fine, cranky and hurt and confused yes, but emotionally I can handle it. I have the support system that I need and so alas I will hang in there. I guess restarting therapy again a month ago was a very good thing as I potentially need that support even more right now.

I may not understand many things right now, but what I do understand is that God is there and so are my friends and family. I am hurt that things went the way they did. I wish I saw it coming, I wish that maybe he would have ended it a better way, I wish that maybe just maybe he would have had a real conversation with me, that he would answer questions, instead of asking me to not contact him in the text that came after the facebook change. It sucks, it all honestly just sucks. I wish that breakups were easy, but the fact that I loved him makes it so mcuh harder.