two whole years. =)

Last week I celebrated two years since I had attempted. Now I realize tha tthis is a weird day to celebrate and it is a day that many fo this world don't have because most people don't try killing themselves at the age of 17.

I am a different story though, I took a different walk fo life and at this point in my life two years ago I saw no point in living. I thought that by ending it all I would be doing all of the people who cared about me a favor. I can still remember everything so vividly, the thoughts and the feelings that were going through my head and my heart. I never thought that I would have ever reached that point but I did and when I did I acted on it.

It is a miracle of God that I am still alive. This is something that when i became concious in the hospital eeryone made sure that I heard it. Everyday leading up to my discharge I was told how gifted I was that I had lived through such a serious attempt, and that they never saw people after the attempt I made.

I appreciate life all that I can now. I ahve been through intense therapy and have been on medications that help my body deal with everything. Earlier this week, on Monday just one day after I had celebrated two years of a good mental state I was deemed safe enough to be taken off one of my major medications. After having been on this medication for two years the withdrawal is a tad intense. God has granted me with the strength to get through this stage and I am going to do it.

Life has been crazy lately and I havent been dealing with it as easily as I would have liked. I still miss the relationship I spent 16 months in and it simple doesn't seem to be getting any easier.

Life is hard, this I know. But God granted me life and I am going to get though it no matter how hard it gets!