bluh ugh.

These last few days have not been ones that I have been enjoying. I have been crying ore than I want and I just want it all to be over with. I feel like my depression might be kicking in again and that scares me like crazy. I was excited for this summer but then people keep asking me questions and telling me it's okay if I can't be away that long and that it won't be a failure for me to come back home, and that just shows soo much about how much they beleive in me and think I am capable of being gone for 3 months. Everything seems to be irritating me and my brain is not y friend. Today was supposed to be a one year HAPPY celebration fo the day I took my last step in the mental health unit at St. JO. it was the day I cleared out my tiny locker and took the elevator down. The day my counselor there ade me feel so ready, so proud and so accomplished. I was a serious attempt and I had any things to deal with while there, and I accomplished doing so and felt ready for the world. NOw I feel like I'm lost again. I have been out of therapy for 2 months and thigns were going amazingly until this week. I need spring break. I need it desperately. I need God to stop the flashbacks. I need encouragement. I need somebody to show that they beleive in me and that I a capable of being gone for this summer. SOrry for my typo filled rant to the imaginary person that reads this. oh so sorry.