today.

Today was one of those days where I did not want to get out of bed. I knew that my brother was coming over today and so I hoped to just sleep the day away. I know that sounds depressing, but it's simply what I wanted to do. I had no hope in today being a good day in any way,shape, or form.

I got out of bed at noon. This my father was not happy about, but greeted me in my "morning" with a nice list of things I needed to get done before my brother and nieces were to come over. I was not happy about this. I dont think I should have to clean for the person that I can not stand to see. I was already having flashbacks and he hadn't even gotten to our house. That made it impossible for hope of a good day.I simply wish that my brain would just turn off, and stop bothering me.

My boyfriend was awesome and stopped by when he got out of work because he knew I was already dreading today. I was so happy to see him, but not happy when just a few minutes later my brother and them were all walking through the door.I was just hoping that my brother would not be a douche towards my boyfriend because I knew that it would not end well. My boyfriend and I played basketball for a while, but then the coldness set in and we decided to go inside and stop avoiding the person i did not want to see. My boyfriend knew I just was not having a good time and he was so caring, and talked and made it seem like my brother wasn't there at all. MY brain wasn't allowing it much, and kept making me remember all of the crap with my brother.

We ate dinner and it was just simply awkward. This was the first time that my boyfriend and brother met, and my sister in-law kept saying hwo my brother should follow all of the things that my boyfriend was doing. After my boyfriend had left I put my focus towards my nieces, I needed to distract myself with as much as possible. The distractions weren't working, but I tried to put on my "happy, everythings great!"face.

The day was just not going well, seeing my boyfriend was nice but it didn't keep my brain from rambling.I got online and started talkign to my boyfriend. He told me that he had found a song that would definitely cheer me up, when I heard it was from a video game I didn't believe him. When he found the perfect youtube video I clicked on the link and listened to see if he was right.This is the song:


I listened to it and halfway trhough I had tears in my eyes. It was so perfect and so what I needed. He is perfect, he knows how to cheer me up and he loves me for who I am. And for him to tell me he loves me even with all of my mistakes and imperfections is a true miracle in my eyes. When I told him this he wrote two things :There are no words to describe true love, only a feeling that can't be replaced.
True love ignores all imperfections and focuses on the flawless qualities. I knew then and there that he is definitely the right person for me. That song and the things he said and how he can just read my brain is so amazing. I wanted to just cuddle with him and just hold his hand and be there with him. I tell him I love him and I know that I mean it, I can feel it in my heart, its the way I feel when I'm around him,how my heart simply skips a beat, or how we can just look into eachothers eyes for a long time and feel so much more connected. It's scary to say but after tonight I can totally see myself marrying this boy. Which is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Today was horrible and perfect at the same time. I know it does not make sense, but that's the only way to describe it.