LIFE

I love my life most of the time.

Though I have my moments that I don't.

Sometimes I question if God is truly working in things, but my questioning ends when my prayers are answered. This happens over and over again, but I constantly question him still. This summer I am going to a camp and it seemed like my parents werent being there for me like I had depended on them to be, they were going to drive me for this long trip, but informed me otherwise. I felt like it was all crashing down and that I would lose the amazing opportunity that I had been granted. Like God was waving it in front of my eyes only to take it away. I remember feeling like that when I was in the hospital and the numerous times they said I would go home at the end of the day, then jsut hours later that would all change. I would be so happy to be able to go home and I would call my Dad during our lunch and inform him that I would be able to go home, and he would be excited too, and then sure enough it would change and I would just go silent for the rest of the day.

I feel sometimes things seem too good to be true and that worried me. I have such a wonderful life and I still have those moments in which I can't get this feeling of the happiness disapperaing. Maybe that's why I try not to get my hopes up anymore. Why i just don't set standards because once I do it will all go wrong and not according to plan. I need to just trust in God and that life may be a rollercoaster, but it will all work out in the end.

I rant alot and for that I'm sorry, but I've determined this isn't read by anybody except the other half of my insanity.